I feel guilt. I feel fear.
Through the years, I've been talked down to, been yelled at, been ex-communicated in circles of friends, been made fun of, publicly humiliated, and been manipulated emotionally.
I was born white.
There have been too many times that I've been put in situations where because I'm white, black people have taken the initiative to walk over me to better themselves and lessen myself in certain situations.
They act like I owe them something, like because they are black, they now can do whatever they want because they know I won't stick up for myself.
If I do stick up for myself? I'm racist.
If I disagree with a black person? I'm racist.
If I somehow make them feel that I'd be first instead of last? I'm racist.
If I don't see their point of view...politically, religiously, socially? I'm racist.
It's as if because I was born white, I'm somehow better that black people....or they are less than I. As if I chose these circumstances, like I chose my race...my parents...my upbringing...my anything? I chose these things just as much as a black person chose them.
There aren't too many situations in dealing with black people that I'm not made to feel like I'm somehow racist toward them. It has really messed with my head, in that I constantly am checking myself in word and action around blacks that almost all interactions with them are uncomfortable. Truthfully, I avoid most black people.
I'm sick of this.
Why is this feeling of owing black people projected on me?
What do I owe them?
Why am I the one who is somehow responsible for the plight of all blacks in the history of ever?
That is not fair to me. I have had nothing to do with you, your circumstances, your choices, your parents choices, my parents choices, or the governments choices...and especially the choices of many blacks to go along with the awful decisions of the government that have seemingly made a large majority of blacks depend on the government and it's programs that supposedly help them.
I am responsible for me. Responsible for my choices. I am accountable to God for me.
What I've come to realize is that racism is hate. Racism is a word that has replaced the word hate. And people choose to either hate or love. It is a choice. It is not connected to in anyway my race, your race or any other factor.
To hate....or love.
Ephesians 6:12 says our struggle as people is not against flesh and blood, but against spiritual forces of wickedness.
Why are we making this life a struggle of flesh and blood? Why are we focusing on hate?
That is not our fight! You are wasting your time and energy trying to convince me that I'm supposed to owe you something because at sometime, somewhere in history, white people hated black people and enslaved them. What about the Arabs that enslaved blacks from Africa years before any Europeans had that idea? Why aren't blacks trying to get a thing of Arab guilt for their African slave trade? It makes no sense. It is not your fight.
White guilt shouldn't exist. For those trying to perpetuate the existence of white guilt, their energy is wasted because that isn't their fight. They have believed a lie that it's someone else's fault for their choices.
Take responsibility. Act right. Love fully. And hate none.
Choosing love instead of hate ends the cycle.
What are you choosing? Are you choosing to believe the lie and continue in hate?
Choose love today.